WALKING THE MOURNER'S PATH An Invitation from Chip Howden to join him on the road by Walking the Mourner's Path - August 2011 We will be offering 1 1/2 hour workshops for 8 weeks from September 26th through November 14th. In facilitator training we had the opportunity to "Walk the Mourner's Path". I did it, remembering my older brother who died about 3 years ago. When he was hospitalized, moved to Hospice, at his funeral, and for months afterwards, I became the advisor to his son and daughter about arrangements, business decisions, and other family matters. I did this while shuttling back and forth between Florida and Rochester, New York. You probably get the idea - when did I have time to grieve? "Walking the Mourner's Path" gave me the opportunity in a Christian setting, to remember the good, the bad, and the ugly of our lives and friendship of sixty years. It brought memories to the surface and I had the chance to talk about Frank and the chance to "un-bottle" some feelings, including laughter, and the chance to look forward with a new perspective. If you have things "Bottled Up" after the death of a friend or loved one, ask about "Walking the Mourner's Path" and when you are ready, come join us on the road. THOUGHTS FROM SUE HOWDEN AFTER PARTICIPATING IN THE FACILITATOR TRAINING SCHOOL....... "Grief has many faces. As time moves us forward from the death of our loved one, we don't always recognize grief's current face. We often, unintentionally, hold on to it as a connection to the one who has died. I recently participated in "Walking the Mourner's Path" workshop. I was able to introduce my mother to the fellow members by sharing stories of her life and mine. We had moments of laughter and tears. We had forgotten emotions surface which were always received with love and acceptance. Through our common bond of loving the Lord we formed a closer connection than before. Some of us were strangers, but no more. We walked away from our workshops with a new resolve, the ability to love and honor those who had died yet greet the new days with promise and thankfulness fhat God has given us each day as a gift. As I looked at my mother's death again, I realized the wealth of things she left me. First and foremost is the knowledge of the presence of God in my life. Thank you, Mother. "Walking the Mourner's Path" can be meaningful to someone who has experienced a death, as recently as six months ago, or as in my case a death thirteen years ago." THOUGHTS FROM PAM ELKINS AFTER PARTICIPATING IN THE FACILITATOR TRAINING SCHOOL.... "When my Mother died in 1992 at the age of 76 from cancer, I accepted her death as an end to her pain and suffering. In the three day Facilitator Training School, I realized I have concentrated on negative memories over the years which helped to lessen my loss and pain from her death. I had suppressed the many good memories, in order to make her death less traumatic for me. Nineteen years later, Walking the Mourners Path has allowed me to talk about my Mother, share memories with others and remember the love and many many positive teachings and experiences we shared in our 51 years together." THOUGHTS FROM JOAN GRENNAN AFTER PARTICIPATING IN THE FACILITATOR TRAINING SCHOOL............ The grief and emptiness that overwhelmed me at the sudden death of my father more than 25 years ago was still intensely felt at unguarded moments....hearing an old song, or being in a familiar place or attending a funeral. I had been 8,000 miles away then and unable to return home for the funeral or experience the family's change from his vital life to his death. It seemed as if he had just disappeared from my life and there had been no time to say goodbye or thank you for all that he had been to me: father, friend, mentor. Through God's grace and those in the Mourner's Path, I was finally able to say to him thank you, goodbye, I will miss you, I am at peace. Through our mutual painful experiences the group had formed bonds of complete trust and honesty and concern for each other. We told stories of our loved ones and as we listened, smiled, cried and laughed, a simple, powerful, non-judging human presence of caring was there. We did the hard work of coming to acceptance of loss and found a new wholeness. It was clear to me that all the amazing love and lessons of my life with my father was not lost and continued to live in me. I felt healed and free. I do not know exactly how that happened but it was clear that God's grace was experienced by all of us. ABOUT WALKING THE MOURNER'S PATH...... Walking the Mourner's Path is a Christ-centered bereavement program. The purpose is to transform grief into joyful living by offering the out stretched hand of Christ during bereavement. The heart of the program is eight spiritually directed small group workshops where participants learn: 1. While their pain is unique, they are not alone on the journey. 2. The need to allow Christ to be a part of the pain and to guide them to heal. 3. Tools for healing and moving forward with their lives. 4. A way to honor their loved one. In order to offer this program, facilitators must be trained. To that end, St. James hosted a three day Facilitator Training School in June. The following were trained from St. James: Tracy Anderson, Pam Elkins, Chip Howden, Sue Howden, Joan Grennan, Fr. Jim, Bruce Kozak, Deacon Judy, Linda Neubauer and Danna Tate. We will be offering the first of the eight week one and one half hour workshops in September. There is an interview process to determine a participant's readiness for this program. If you believe you might benefit from this program, please speak to Fr. Jim or Deacon Judy. Faithfully, Deacon Judy FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE SPEAK TO DEACON JUDY OR FR. JIM The Bereavement Committee provides simple refreshments at a reception following a funeral if the family wishes. This provides the opportunity for the family to greet friends in a relaxed atmosphere and relieves them of having to make arrangements. Please contact Mary Wintermuth 615-3885 or Sandy Bellico 672-9063 with questions or interest in this committee.